Here we go

So... It's been a few. Today is March 22, 2012. It has been almost 3 years since Di was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. (April 29, 2009) On April 19, 2012 we will be expecting a new edition to our family. Our little girl. And when I say "our" I mean OUR. It is not just about Di and I. It's about ALL of us that have been there through this all. It is a story to share. A feel good story if you will. It is about Gail, Mark, Christopher, Audrey, Momma, Daddy, Terry, Alan, Danielle, Eric, Erin, Brent, Josh, Merritt, Carissa, Alec, Jack, Luke, Hannah, Sinclair, Garrett and all of the clan. It is about family. It is about friends. It's about the joy of life.

Di has been feeling pretty good. Her arm swells a little here and there. We try to stay on top of it so it doesn't get worse. She goes to a specialist and they do different massages and exercises to help the blood and fluid flow through her arm. She's not to happy wearing her compression sleeve but sometimes doesn't have a choice. Sometimes you just have to suck it up. They've recommended taking Yoga. Oh how I wish she would.

Anyone heard of "Nesting"? If not feel free to drop by the house. The baby's room is pretty much done. Just looking for the "right" rug to put in her room.

Everyone is asking if we have chosen a name for our baby. The answer is yes. But Di and I have decided that we won't tell anyone until her birth. It's not that we don't want people to know, it's more a situation that Di and I want something that is only ours to discuss. The last 3 years have been an open book for all to see and discuss. People were aware of everything from the day her eggs were implanted to the very day she became pregnant. It's been a group effort. But it's been weird for us, well..me anyway. We don't get to go through the pregnancy like normal people. We don't get to feel our girl kick or move around in her belly. We weren't afforded that luxury. Though we are truly lucky to be were we are. It may be kinda petty to think holding a name back is actually doing something other then being greedy or something.. But that's not what we want. We just want to have the connection with our child that is hard to do in our situation. I fear that one day I will be handed a baby that I'm not prepared for. I believe pregnancy is the ultimate preparation to having an infant. I know we will be fine. But I can't help but think about it. Think how this isn't the way Di planned it. or I planned it..It is the way it's happening though so we move forward. With a happy hart and a loving home to prepare for our blessing.

Hang in there Gail! Only a few more weeks! You too Mark. You'll get your wife back again soon! Thanks for the loaner;)

Oh! and thank you all who helped throw an awesome baby shower! Thanks to all who attended! It was great to see you all.

Clay

December to remember

Di has made it home after spending 3 days and two nights at Presbyterian Hosp. Her hysterectomy took a little longer then expected. The doctor had to go back in and do a second procedure to stop some internal bleeding. So what was supposed to be hysterectomy surgery Tuesday morning, with her going home Wednesday evening, ended up being surgery Tuesday morning, fixing the bleeding Wednesday afternoon and returning home Thursday late afternoon. Needless to say it's been a long few days for her. We are home know, so we are thankful for that. We were told that recovery will take 2 to 3 weeks.

We are happy to be home and are looking forward to spending Christmas at home with family and friends.

Thanks everyone for the kind words, flowers, cards, texts, emails and calls expressing your good will and hoping for her quick recovery. She is a fast healer and I'm sure she will be up and at it soon. Possibly to soon. I'll have to watch her so she doesn't try and do to much.

Thanks for reading, and if I don't see/talk to you before Christmas then I hope you have a very merry one.

Hysterectomy Surgery Day

Di's hysterectomy surgery was done on December 13. We arrived at 7:20am for a 9am surgery with Dr. Bernstein. Surgery was uneventful. I slept the night at Presby with her. On the morning of the 14, about 11:30 Di was up and walking. Unfortunately she wasn't able to pee...and that isn't good. She was able to pass a nasty blood clot. That isn't good even more. Back to surgery it is. Di was taken back to the surgery room around 3pm. Dr. Bernstein finished up around 4:15. He said he put 3 stitches in where there was a little bleeding. He checked her platelet count and it was really low. He said it was due to her chemo, so he has been in contact with Dr McIntyre about it. He said we should expect a visit from her and she'll discuss what she plans to do about getting her counts up.
I'm in the waiting room...waiting for her to get out of recovery. It looks like I'll be spending a second night at Presby. Di has been OK.. seen her better that's for sure.
Di is always so strong. I rarely see her down. Surgery always makes her really nervous. She seems to get a little emotional right before she is wheeled away for surgery. That's' when sad thoughts creep into my head. I kick them out because I feel I'm a rational man..and because others are usually with me and I need to be strong for them. But it breaks my heart every time...

Giving Thanks

one of my favorite holidays is coming up. Ya! Good ol Thanksgiving. Man, I love that holiday. Good food and Cowboys football! Love it! This year Di and I plan on starting a new holiday tradition. Good food, Cowboys and the Malaby's! We're road tripping to McPherson Kansas people! We'll hang with them through the holiday and on Monday we'll go in with Gail to her Dr's appointment. Hopefully then, a sono will tell us if we're having a girl (Di is convinced it will be a girl..something about a dream or something) or a boy. We're really looking forward to going up there, seeing the kids, Mark and Gail..and her belly!
I'm not sure what we'll do in McPherson but I'm sure we'll find something. Probably a lot of going out to eat...maybe take the niece and nephew to a movie.

I am thankful for my beautiful wife. Who for some reason still loves me..or so she says. I'm thankful for my family. I feel like saying especially Gail, but the truth is my whole family rocks pretty hard. Every one of them are good people with good hearts who do the right thing. I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for Jayln and his family. I'm thankful for Alan and Terry, the best inlaws you could ask for. I'm thankful for my mom, she's way cooler now then when I was in high school. I'm thankful to have had a great dad. I'm thankful to have friends that are supportive when I need them and aren't afraid to tell me the truth. I'm thankful for my job..my dog..my cat. And I'm most thankful for having the opportunity to live, basically I'm thankful for my life. and I'm thankful for you. yes you. the one reading this right now. thanks.

enjoy your family and friends this holiday season people. Life is full of surprises and not all of them are good. So enjoy the good ones, they help you get through the tough ones.

be good,

clay

Guest Blogger David Haas folks!

Please read David's article on the importance of fitness when dealing with Cancer. I know from experience that it makes all the difference in the world. Di is happy and healthy, mental and physical, with the help of a good work out program. It's serious business people. Check some of his other great work at http://haasblaag.blogspot.com/

Fitness for Cancer Patients

When you are first diagnosed with cancer, you may be tempted to just curl up in bed and stay there until the treatment is over. That is the exact opposite of what most cancer patients should do. Staying fit is an important part of caring for your physical as well as mental well being. Both your body and your mind need to be in the best shape possible to fight cancer.

Regular exercise is an important part of mental health. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control, physical fitness can reduce your chances of experiencing clinical depression and it may help combat sleeplessness.

In addition to promoting mental health, exercise will help keep your immune system strong and your body in the best possible condition. In addition, you will feel more alert and better able to complete your daily tasks. The better physical condition you are in, the better your body may be able to fight the cancer. Exercise will not cure cancer, but it is an important part of the recovery process.

Some hospitals and cancer clinics offer fitness programs for patients, and these programs may be covered under your insurance policy. These fitness programs are typically designed to keep you active during and after your treatment. In addition, they may offer additional services such as nutrition counseling. Ask your physician about the fitness resources available for cancer patients at your hospital.

If your hospital doesn't offer specialized fitness services for cancer patients, be proactive and seek fitness resources on your own. Join a gym and take advantage of any free classes or personal training that your gym offers. If you can afford it, hire your own trainer who has experience working with cancer patients. Some trainers have specialized knowledge for working with particular types of cancer patients, such as those who suffer from mesothelioma or colon cancer.

Consult your physician before you begin any exercise program to make sure that you are physically able to begin or maintain a fitness program. Most cancer patients can benefit from a fitness regimen, however. Most of all, don't give up on it. You will probably not be able to exercise each day during treatment, but exercise when you can and keep the ultimate goal in mind: your recovery.

been a while..

So.... Where to start. It's been a few months since I've updated the blog. Yes, King Obvious here.
Well, everyone that reads this blog knows that my sister Gail and us have been working on her being our gestational carrier. We tried 4 times over the last couple years with no success. The last chance we had was August 4th. Knowing it was the last shot, because we didn't have anymore fertilized eggs, we held our breath and started making other plans for our family. Well, everyone. IT WORKED! Gail is now past her first trimester! We all are beyond excited. However if you ask my wife if I'm excited she'll probably say I'm not. For some reason I am still cautiously optimistic. It just seems so surreal to me. I mean I'm not really there, being an active participant in the pregnancy. (Gail lives in Kansas) So everything is over the phone. A few days ago Gail went in for a check up. To do a sono and all that that consists of. She called me from the doctors office to ask me if I wanted to hear my child's heartbeat........ at my age I have had 2 calls I will never forget. When Erin called me on Aug 4th 2004,to tell me my dad had passed and when Gail called me to ask if I wanted to hear my childs heart beat. At 38 this has been a long time coming. So long in fact, that it's hard to believe it. Especially since We(Di & I) don't get to see/deal with the pregnancy first hand. Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that Di didn't get morning sickness, or that I won't have to listen to her gripe about "stuff" that pregnant women apparently gripe about. But it weird for me. Strange all the way around.

did anyone pick up on the August 4th date thing? crazy huh?

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Malabys. Without their dedication to getting this done it never would have been, well, done. So thank you Mark. Thanks for being cool about all of this. I know it won't be easy for you so I want you to know we love you and that we couldn't be happier that you are married to my sister. and Gail... what can I say about her. Thanks sis... You are a truly special person. One of a kind. I will forever be indebted to you. We love you.

NOW BRING THAT BABY HOME!!!!!

still working on it!

It's been a while... Things seem to be moving slowly these days. Di has been back at work. Traveling much more because of it. She just got back from doing an event in Vail. It is nice that she has gotten back to her regular work routine. It seems "cancer" has taken a back seat to "life". I plan on going with her to the Dr. tomorrow for her check up. She wants me to be there for the whole MRI deal. But the good news is that when it is my time to get ran through the MRI machine I will have had plenty of experience between Di and my dad. It's weird. Both are some of the strongest minded people I know...but they couldn't do that damn MRI machine.. odd..

The whole gestational carrier thing has been put on hold for a little bit. Both Di and Gail have been extremely busy with work. We are trying to find a time that works well for everyone. It's not that easy.

I feel like I'm on the sideline cheering for a team...problem is it's half time and my team is loosing.... badly.... It is only one game I tell myself.

Plan is to start back up after the holidays. I'm personally looking forward to the holidays. Some time off of work will be nice. Time with the family. Eric and Riam will be in town. Gail and the kids too. Mark seems to be pussing out, seems the Drury Clan is a lot to handle for some. Understandable I guess. I know Di was overwhelmed by the sure numbers of us at first. Now I'm not sure what she would do without us. Erin for sure. She's been a great friend to Di threw all of this.

I miss my dad too.

Great News!

As many of you know. We have been working on having a Gestational Carrier "carry" our child. What some of you may not know is that we have found one. One who I have known my entire life. One who is as close to Di and I as any one. And one who we trust with our own lives...or child's life for that matter. My wonderful sister Gail! let that sync in for a few minutes....... Crazy huh?? Any one think "icky"?? (well I did for a little while)

Gail is in Dallas as we speak. Probably hanging out at the house with Di getting ready for our 2nd (we tried a couple months ago but didn't have any luck) procedure. They are probably about to leave for the hospital any minute. I will leave work about noon. As many people know, Doctors our on their own time so my guess is, if they say be there between 11:30 and noon, that the Doc will stroll in around 12:45/1pm.. It just works that way.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my sister and her husband Mark. They are making a HUGE sacrifice out of pure kindness. Not many people would choose to do this. Words can not describe the love and respect Di and I have for them and their family. I will be forever indebted to them. To say this was an easy choice or any easy decision would sell them short. How does someone decide that they WANT to do something like this?...what motivates them? Why?? No other reason then love. Love for me...love for Di....love for themselves and our whole family..There is no other way to describe it...

If you know me, you know that I am not a religious man. I believe in many things..I believe in the human spirit. I believe in doing good by all. I believe in helping when the opportunity presents itself. I believe that there IS power in doing right. I am a spiritual person. None of these beliefs prepared me for the moment it was decided that Gail would be THE ONE. That my friends is God's work. So thank you God..Thank you for blessing me and my family. Oh. And THANK YOU GAIL. I love you.

Reconstructive Surgery

We are winding down most all things considered Breast Cancer related. Friday May 14, 2010. We woke early that morning (4am) so that we could be at the hospital at 5:15am for check in. Terry and Alan made it by before she was wheeled in for her operation, which was started around 8am. The surgery lasted until around 3 or 4pm. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist didn't really listen to us wen we told her that Di gets pretty nauseous when she comes to and that we have found Amend (spelling) seems to be what works for her...She said she doesn't "use" amend and that she will take care of it...not so much. Di spend three hours in the recovery room sleeping off the nausea. By that time of night she was the only person left there. Terry and I were told to go on to the room and wait. So we did..and did some more. Finally the phone rang with a nurse on the other end telling us that Di was still in the recovery Room and may be down there for a while, and that if we wanted to see her we should come on down. Well, I had no proof that she was actually alive so I went down with Terry in tow. She was there...physically. I was satisfied and proceeded to head back to her room. They eventually brought her up. She looked pretty good all things considered.

Night 1 was uneventful. Day 1 post surgery was good until about 2am when Di woke up hysterically crying saying that her head was hurting. That was NO fun. A comedy of Nursing Errors occurred before I finally told them that "something" more had to be done. They came back with some stuff they put in her I.V and in about 20min that took care of her...thank you Lord. It wasn't pretty. After that little episode all else went well. We were able to leave Sunday about noon. She is home know and for the foreseeable future until she gets her drains out (hopefully they will come out next week).

For those that don't know, Di and I have found a "Carrier" to carrier our baby. As soon as next month we will be implanting our fertilized eggs in her "belly" in hopes to start a family.

I don't want to jinks anything else on that front so I'll update more as the process unfolds! Needless to say we are ecstatic about the possibilities and are looking forward to the future.

take care of one another folks.

The dust is settling

As each day passes we look back at the past year of our lives and think about the hardships that ended well. And I guess "well" is relative. So...it was a relatively good year...we did get through it.
Di has gone in for her check ups and seems to be recovering well. She went to Dr.Meade this morning and received her surgery date. She goes in on May 11th for her permanent implants. She is READY to get ride of the temporary fillers she has now..they are really hard and don't feel very comfortable to her. Then that will be the last of the surgery for a while. So that is good.
Di's been working from home. She was able to go to her first event in a while when she left for the Super Bowl and was gone for a week. It was good for her to get back into the swing of things. I'm sure it was nice for her being back on site working, doing what she does best.
Physically Di has been pretty good. I find myself waking up in our bed by myself a few times a week. She has trouble going to bed and staying in bed through the night. The doctors don't really know why she's not sleeping well.
Her hair is growing back! So that's exciting! Hopefully it won't take too long to grow to a good length.

We have been working on finding a "carrier" so that we can have a child. We think we have the one. As soon as we get the legal mumbo jumbo figured out then hopefully we can get the show on the road. I'll update again when I know more.

Sorry it's been a while but sometimes I get caught up in life! take care people.